šŸ‹ How I Lost My Discipline

This is issue #101 of LifeLemons. šŸŽ‰ You can see the rest here.

I thought I was pretty disciplined until I started creating online.

On my 'creative' days', Iā€™d wake up late, procrastinate on my phone, daydream during ā€˜workā€™ sessions and feel too lethargic to continue by late afternoon.

I think Iā€™ve always confused motivation and discipline to be the same thing, until I discovered that they were entirely different.

Iā€™m a fairly motivated individual, Iā€™d say. For the past 6 years or so, Iā€™ve always been thinking about getting better at things and how to ā€˜level upā€™.

What Iā€™ve come to realise is that internal motivation is invisible, itā€™s a feeling within.

External motivation can be felt, but it doesnā€™t always translate into action.

And I think itā€™s very possible to be highly motivated but lack discipline, as Iā€™ve discovered for myself.

You can also achieve a lot without discipline; some of my biggest achievements have come about in a disorderly fashion.

But since I started my journey of creating written and visual work online, Iā€™ve dedicated some days of the week to doing so, and itā€™s been tough.

My daily ā€˜creativeā€™ routine often descends into chaos.

Without someone telling me what to do and when to do it (like a ā€˜traditionalā€™ job), I cut myself a lot of slack, forgive myself for an unproductive day and do it all over again.

Itā€™s also incredibly difficult to sit down and create novel things on each sitting.

Unlike a role with repetitive tasks, creative ones require original thinking. Itā€™s been a real surprise to me how energy-depleting it is. Iā€™d confidently say that itā€™s a lot more difficult than some of the other tasks considered ā€˜difficultā€™ in my medical career path.

It almost always comes back to this notion of ā€˜disciplineā€™, the practice of sitting down and doing the work when it feels most difficult, especially when you feel the ā€˜resistanceā€™ to simply chill and put it off for another day.

No matter how many books I read or advice I gather, developing the discipline to perform mundane or creative tasks is an ever-evolving, uphill battle.

I know it may look like Iā€™ve got things together when you see me post on various platforms each week, but I too have to drag myself in a forward direction every single day.

Itā€™s very rare that my body decides to stand up straight and march on without complaints. The motivation is there but the discipline isnā€™t strong enough.

Iā€™m not even close to having the answers on ā€˜how to be disciplinedā€™ yet, but itā€™s a work in progress, and as always, we march on.

Have a great week,

Faisal.

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