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š How I Lost My Discipline
This is issue #101 of LifeLemons. š You can see the rest here.
I thought I was pretty disciplined until I started creating online.
On my 'creative' days', Iād wake up late, procrastinate on my phone, daydream during āworkā sessions and feel too lethargic to continue by late afternoon.
I think Iāve always confused motivation and discipline to be the same thing, until I discovered that they were entirely different.
Iām a fairly motivated individual, Iād say. For the past 6 years or so, Iāve always been thinking about getting better at things and how to ālevel upā.
What Iāve come to realise is that internal motivation is invisible, itās a feeling within.
External motivation can be felt, but it doesnāt always translate into action.
And I think itās very possible to be highly motivated but lack discipline, as Iāve discovered for myself.
You can also achieve a lot without discipline; some of my biggest achievements have come about in a disorderly fashion.
But since I started my journey of creating written and visual work online, Iāve dedicated some days of the week to doing so, and itās been tough.
My daily ācreativeā routine often descends into chaos.
Without someone telling me what to do and when to do it (like a ātraditionalā job), I cut myself a lot of slack, forgive myself for an unproductive day and do it all over again.
Itās also incredibly difficult to sit down and create novel things on each sitting.
Unlike a role with repetitive tasks, creative ones require original thinking. Itās been a real surprise to me how energy-depleting it is. Iād confidently say that itās a lot more difficult than some of the other tasks considered ādifficultā in my medical career path.
It almost always comes back to this notion of ādisciplineā, the practice of sitting down and doing the work when it feels most difficult, especially when you feel the āresistanceā to simply chill and put it off for another day.
No matter how many books I read or advice I gather, developing the discipline to perform mundane or creative tasks is an ever-evolving, uphill battle.
I know it may look like Iāve got things together when you see me post on various platforms each week, but I too have to drag myself in a forward direction every single day.
Itās very rare that my body decides to stand up straight and march on without complaints. The motivation is there but the discipline isnāt strong enough.
Iām not even close to having the answers on āhow to be disciplinedā yet, but itās a work in progress, and as always, we march on.
Have a great week,
Faisal.
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š¤ About Me
I'm Faisal, a Doctor working in the NHS who writes online and makes Youtube videos on self-development, intentional living and doing the things that matter.
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